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I know, this has nothing to do with parenting but I’m having some problems with my blogs specially with this one since from time to time I get the BlueHost message: This account has exceeded its CPU Quota. I’m sorry for those that visit this blog and see a suspension message. I’m trying to figure out what is going on.

I had some help from Snoskred’s Blog and I tried the Plugin Hog Detector from Lucia.

I noticed that the plugin I was using for Backups is blocking my account, I really don’t know why and if it really is that plugin that is causing all this but I’m sure I’ll have this solved soon.

Sorry for any inconvenient and more parenting posts soon.

When we make rules for our kids we must stick to them. If we let them break a rule once they want to break it again and make all the efforts to do it.

Example: When we arrive home from daycare and I’m starting dinner

Son: Mom I want a donut
Mom: You can’t eat now, Dinner will be ready in a few minutes
Son: But I wanna eat it now
Mom: Wait till I have dinner ready, after dinner if you want you can eat one.
Son (after 2 minutes): Mom, but I want to eat it now
Mom (losing patience): You can’t
Son: But I wanna eat it
Mom after a 8 hour working day, patience is lost, wants to end conversation: Ok eat it now but you have to eat dinner too.

Yes, this is me sometimes.

This shouldn’t happen. We must be coherent, there is nothing worse than decide one thing and do another. Although it’s simple to understand this concept we sometimes give in to our children requests - this is a big mistake.

Our basic values and ideas are transmitted from this simple acts and decisions. They will learn this values from what we say but specially from what we do.

If a child sees that we respect others and we listen to him/her he will learn to respect and hear others as well. Although on their teens they will play with other values, after some years they will return to what we expressed and shown on their childhood.

Television and Cinema can show them different role models but there is no doubt that the parents’ figure and behavior will be their definitive role model.

I’m aware of all this and I try to follow these “rules” but sometimes tiredness and lifestyle itself make me take the wrong decisions although most of the times I know I shouldn’t be doing it.

My kids sometimes can get a little aggressive when they hear one of the many no’s I have to tell them. I’ve been researching and there are some points we can take into consideration to control that aggression.

• Help the children to identify the situation when they are upset and feel frustrated.
• Show that we can’t always have what we want.
• Teach them to stop before they act, counting to 10 or thinking about something funny every time they feel mad or disappointed.
• Talk to the children, check if the situation is serious or not, if there are any other options or ways out and if it is really necessary to get mad.
• Explain that those rage attacks will have consequences like sanctions from your side.
• Help them to choose between two options: make a tantrum and face the consequences or find a solution.
• Teach them relaxation techniques like the “snow man”. Children have to imagine that they are a snow man and the sun light starts to warm it up, transforming all his body in water. “It is a sensation that produces the relaxation of the muscles while in a process of anguish and nervousness.” says Urra.

Well, sometimes I try some of these, but lack of patience sometimes is Queen.

This Chalkboard or a similar one is probably one of the presents I will give my daughter as a Christmas gift. Besides the chalkboard, it also works as a dry eraser board and since my daughter loves to draw and paint this will be a good choice.

This chalkboard is made of wood, has a paint try with cup holders in several colors , a tray to put eraser, clips or chalk. Everything will be in the right place and the kids can have fun painting as many pages as they want.

The easy load paper is not included as well has the paint cups.

There are those days when we tend to say to our kids that:

• You don’t know how to do it.
• You don’t even can dress yourself alone
• You are useless
• etc.

This can affect their self-esteem and it is one thing we should stimulate.

In the first years of a child’s life the concept is built after what the other people think and say. If a child grows up on an environment where teachers, family and friends have positive expectations about a child, probably that child will grow up with positive concepts about himself/herself.

The sensation of being wanted is the essential reference to how much we are valued by others. Make our children feel important and valuable is essential for a correct development of the auto esteem. We should never made depreciatory comments, even in difficult situations in which is complicated to domain our bad humor.

One thing is to call attention of a situation that caused you grief, and another is to humiliate another human being, in this case our son/daughter. Years later, it’s probable that what was said that day, and the way it was said, touched him/her very deeply.

From: Parent Center:

Carve out time to give your kindergarten your undivided attention — this can do wonders for a child’s self-worth because it sends the message that you think she’s important and valuable. And it doesn’t have to take a lot of time. Stop flicking through the mail if she’s trying to talk with you or turning off the TV long enough to answer a question. Make eye contact so it’s clear that you’re really listening to what she’s saying. When you’re strapped for time, you can let your child know without ignoring her needs. Say, “Tell me all about what you did at school, and then when you’re finished I’ll need to make our dinner.”

I try to keep this in mind but sometimes, in stressed moments I tend to say things that I regret later.

Who said that being a parent it’s easy. For me it has been very complicated. We (the couple) work full time.

He leaves home at about 7:30am and arrives home almost at around 8pm, all this time is spend on the company he works for.  I’m in charge of the kids, my job, meals and get some extra money by blogging.

I get up, prepare the kids for school, most of the time I don’t eat breakfast, I take them to school and at 9.00am I’m in the office. From 12.30 to 2pm  its my luch time that I use usually to read blogs and update mines. I leave work at 6.30pm, pick up the kids and go home. I prepare dinner, baths, clothes for the next day, check if next day it’s swimming class day, or gymnastics day, or if I have to buy meal tickets at school, etc. etc. I’m the one in charge of the kids daily events. Sometimes I miss some things like forget that is swimming class day and leave the bag at home. My son is very distracted and he doesn’t have that concert which leads me to more extra head work.

After all this, I have to blog, write posts, comment, sometimes I only go to bed at 3am. I spend 9,5 hours in the office and at night at least 3-4 hours blogging, plus the time with the kids (playing not included), all sum up I work 15 to 17 hours a day, and I don’t watch TV or read a book.

What I really miss is having more quality time with my kids. Arriving home at 7p, with dinner and baths little time is left to play with them.