Dani, was always a very “undefined” boy regarding his choices specially Sport ones.

He quited Judo, quited Kempo and until yesterday he was only attending swimming classes with school. I think he gets tired of sports, not because he wants to be still or quiet but he loses interest in the sport itself.

He plays a lot, runs a lots, he’s never still, so I guess that’s also a sport…Sometimes I feel I should insist more with him to join a team, but I also think he must practice what he likes not just because I want him to. Sports are good…even better if we like them.

For a few years he has been talking about joining a soccer team. Several friends and classmates attend soccer classes but I always avoided that choice. Probably I shouldn’t have.

You might ask: why doesn’t his mother want him to play soccer? Well, it’s a very demanding sport when it comes to training and games. The whole family is going to be involved. Why?

During the week he has training classes that will last until 8pm or 8.30pm which, I think, it’s too late for a nine years old boy that has school the next day. After the training class he comes home, takes a bath, eats dinner, and that’s it, he will be leaving the house at 8.30am and arriving at 8.45pm two days a week.

Then we have the games that will take place usually on Saturday morning, DH is at work so I’ll be the one taking him and supporting him on the games WITH Catherine. Games don’t have a fixed place, meaning they can be in a near place or far from the city. Some places I never heard of them.

If my life is already busy it will be much complicated.

These last couples of weeks he has been insisting in attending the classes, so…I’m a good mother right…I insisted with DH (that was a little reluctant to accept) and YESTERDAY IT WAS HIS FIRST SOCCER TRAINING CLASS.

Yesterday and tomorrow will be “test training” as the coach wants to see how he plays, but for sure he will be accepted. Saturday the team has a game, but, has he is not in the team yet, he’s not attending it.

He’s so happy to be in the team. Today while I was driving him to school, he told me the name of the other team players, some are from his school others he only met yesterday but he already knows their names. He even was excited because the couch asked him to help out delimiting the field with some plastic markers. He was released from training about half an hour before the others because they had to train for Saturday’s game but that didn’t demotivate him.

He really wanted to join soccer team, already in past years, but with Catherine so little I always refused. I guess it’s time to give it a try. Catherine will be four next month, she will go with me to the games, we’ll meet new places and I’ll take with me games or books so that she doesn’t get bored.

Most mothers and fathers complaint about the “soccer life” because it is so demanding in schedule and trips to far towns and villages, so let’s see how it works for me.

I know this will bring me two extra bills per month, I have to pay for classes and transportation from daycare to the stadium - once I’m working at that time, besides the money I will spend with trips to the games outside the city.

One thing I’m sure, if he’s happy, I’ll be happy too. Will Soccer be the right Sport for him? Time will tell…

Thursday Catherine started feeling down, and by down I mean, tired, complaining about everything, wanting to be on my lap, complaining about tummy ache, ear ache, leg pain, well…only her hair was not aching.

Friday morning she cried a lot because she didn’t want to go to school and wanted to stay home with mom. She broke my heart. She went to school, no phone calls during the day so I thought everything was fine. It was DH that picked them up at daycare at the end of the day and he was told that she had been complaining with pain all over her body. When I arrived home I checked her and she told me her right ear was really hurting so I took her to doctor’s appointment and the result was: everything is fine.

The only explanation I have, the teacher has and the daycare director has is that: Catherine misses her mom, yeap…me.

She misses being at home with me and she tries to catch my attention by saying she is in pain. The truth is that she has been very “babyish” lately, crying a lot even if it is for a small think just to catch my attention. As soon as I’m near her he just calms down and changes her behavior.

There are a few attitudes and actions I might have to take but right now spending more time with her, playing or just be next to her while she watches TV is a priority. She only sees me 3-4 hours a day and most of that time is split among her, her brother, cooking, laundry, etc., she sure misses me, I’m aware of that and it hurts.

Lack of time if one of my issues all the time, I just have to convince myself that “this is it”, that’s my life and although I would like to change it, I can’t so I just have to make it work. Quality time instead of quantity time.

I started blogging almost 2 years ago. I started two blogs almost at the same time in two different languages: Portuguese and English. As I always read more English blogs than Portuguese ones, in November 2006 I decided to write only in English.

In March 2007 it was my first contact with paid posts and I met many other bloggers and great blogs. I become addicted and I started increasing my feed reader with wonderful blogs.

As soon as I connect the computer I check the comments on my blogs as well as other bloggers updates. During the week, when I arrive at work, I connect the computer and before checking the companies’ emails I’m already checking mine.

Yes, I confess, I’m a Blogaholic.

Through The Sewing Mom blog I become aware of the Blogaholics Anonymous club. If you think you are Blogaholic, don’t be shy, although you might not know there are others feeling the same way.

Go to the Livin’ With Me blog to join the club and get your own badger.

I’m so relieved I’m not alone…

Well, I really want to thank Connie from My Chronic Life for giving me the Excellent badger. It means a lot to me.

There is so much I want to write on this blog, improve it, but I realize that managing a full time job, two kids and three blogs (four with the blogspot one) is a hard job. I’ll try my best to keep blogging about my life.

This award is perfect for Holli from Baby Faith. Holli is a great blogger and photographer. Check her blog, meet her and her beautiful daughter Faith (and of course Nate!!)

Saturday my son received his birthday present (a little late but worth waiting for) from his grandmother and grandfather (my in laws). It was money and together with the money he already had on his piggy he discovered that he could buy what he has been asking for for a long time, and we have been denying for a long time: a cell phone.

Since the age of 6 that my nephews have cell phone but I always refused to give one to my son. I didn’t think it was something essential for his daily life and he was too young to know the real purpose of a cell phone, that for me is essential calls, emergency calls and little more.

Now he’s 9 years old and he has enough money to buy the cell phone he wants. Well, he had enough money and we bought the cell phone.

At the age of 9 he already has the notion that the cell phone is not a toy but on the other hand:

• It has games
• It has radio
• It has MP3 player
• It has camera
• It has video
• It has more than I have.

I have a very basic cell phone and right now it’s enough for me. My son now has, and this is my point of view, an excellent cell phone and I truly hope he treats it well. If he loses it or damages it he knows that for a few long years he won’t have another one.

The question is: Does a 9 year old boy needs a cell phone?
Negative points of view:
No he doesn’t. It spoils him, makes him a show off. I’m going to have problems with cash control, he’s going to call all his friends (I hope I’m wrong), he’s going to receive messages with those abbreviated words that I sometimes have difficulty in understanding; he’s going to call me everyday just to use the phone.

Positive points of view:
I don’t have to go to school on my lunch break to know if he’s better from his tooth ache;
If he forgets something at home I can send him a message saying I will bring him that at school, so that he isn’t worried about it.

OK…I need more positive points of view…
The reality is that I still think he’s too young for a cell phone. He already has internet at home, friends in MSN messenger, PS2, GameBoy, MP3, why a cell phone that is better than mine?

Oh more positive points of view:
Now I can take pictures and make digital videos with his cell phone ( I don’t have a video digital camera).
I can use his calendar for birthday reminders

I’m really afraid that he will ruin the cell phone by taking it to school and daycare. The first day is going to be critical because he’s going to show it to everybody. I know…I should trust more on his care for his things. I hope he can prove that to me with the cell phone, because with other stuff he’s a “head in the wind”, he never knows where he leaves his stuff.

My boy is growing and I have to let him grow. He’s not my baby anymore and although a pleasure seeing him growing it scares me.

Here is an article about this subject: Talk to Your Kids About Cell Phone Use

Did you let your children have a cell phone at what age? Or when do you think you will let your children have a cell phone?

Well, my son keeps being very mysterious about the secret girlfriend but I knew through a school friend that the flowers were a success.

He asked a friend to give the flowers to the “girlfriend” (he’s too shy) and it seems that the class (she is from another classroom) was delighted with the flowers. Teachers and school personal was called to see the gift and a glass flower pot was arranged to put that special present.

This is a interesting relationship, he almost never talks with her and they “date” from the distance. His personal messenger on MSN Messenger is now: “I love B. like I never loved before”.

This is beautiful and I really find this interesting. Innocence and love are in the air.

Ok…I know…he’s 9 so…in 5 or 6 years I’m sure I won’t find this “secret girlfriend stuff” interesting!!!

My daughter found this potato chip inside a chips bag. She immediately said: Mom, look, it’s an heart.

Thanks Lay’s for the Valentine’s Gift

This is the Flowers my son is giving to his secret girlfriend today.

We bought the Flowers yesterday and he was the one that chose exactly how he wanted the bouquet.

I look forward to the end of the day to check with him what was the girl’s reaction.

I found a great and simple site where my daughter (nearly 4) can do what she really likes: coloring.

Coloring is a very simple site where you can find a lot of interesting and beautiful drawings to color. Coloring is done by choosing the color we want and then pressing the area we want to color. It’s excelent for small kids because the coloring area is already defined and at a distance of one click.

Although I don’t want her to spend too much time only due to her young age, I let her color once in a while. She already has control of the mouse and can change the color of a zone if she doesn’t like to result.

I find this so amusing. My son, who recently turned 9, has a secret girlfriend. He refuses to say her name, I just know it’s from his school but not from his class and has a twin sister. Interesting.

He’s preparing an envelope with something inside, he doesn’t let me see and tomorrow he wants to buy a flower to give her on Valentine’s Day. I’m also trying to find a poem online for him to give her.

It’s a kind of strange “Romance”, when he wants to give her something, he gives it to her twin sister that afterwards will give her sister and the same way around. They avoid contact due to shyness.

This is really “innocent love” and it’s so embarassing for him to speak about it. Today he brought a small fluffy dog that, when pressed, he makes the sound of a kiss and say “I love you”. He spent the evening pressing it but refused to tell me who gave it to him.

“Love is in the air”!

Last week was a tough week. Not only physiologically but also physically.

I know what a depression is, I’ve been there and I don’t want to be there again. I know when I’m on the edge, I know what my limits are. Last week I was near but still far enough from the edge.

I’ve said this before but I repeat myself, I work 40 hours a week, from 9 to 18:30 (1,5 lunch break), two bosses that treat us like “slaves”, two kids to prepare to school and to pick up at the end of the day, cleaning, laundry, meals, my mother’s phone calls because of my father’s Alzheimer situation, little time to be with the kids, etc, etc, etc. it’s not easy. Fortunately I have my DH that although working from 8 to 19 helps a lot around the house.

Sometimes I deal well with all this routine, other times not so well. I can’t complaint about my job, I know that I’ll have my salary at the end of the month, it’s not a bad salary but the conditions are not the best. Motivation is something that I don’t have.

Last week was a very negative week for me because when I think too much about other things I would like to do and I don’t have time to, I become angry with myself and I refuse to accept that right now I can’t change a thing.

My escape right now is blogging. I love being on the internet, to write and earn money online. This last part is something I would like to explore and see if I could manage to live from internet jobs. It’s something uncertain that for sure won’t replace my full time job, so for now, although with sadness, I have to continue with my life the way it is.

This whole situation, the fact that I’m not satisfied with my life, affects me also physically. I lose my strength, I have migraines and muscle and bone pain is a reality. It’s awful to feel this way but last week I really felt it. For 4 day, I slept 10 hours a night (usually I sleep 6 or 7 sometimes only 4 or 5), I felt exhausted and could even walk straight.

When I feel like this I avoid direct contact with situations that can make me say things I later regret so I’m more silent than on normal days.

My relation with my DH has been a little distant. Due to a change in our bedrooms he ended up sleeping in my daughter’s room. Let me explain: during cold weather we have to turn on some form of heating, as we can’t afford the central heating, we use oil heaters. As we have a Suite we decided to put my son’s bed in our dressing room, my kids were supposed to sleep there and my DH and I in our bed. My daughter decided she wanted to sleep in our bed so my husband started sleeping in her room. This is happening for two months now.

Of course, as a couple, this causes a little rupture in the relation, we already have little time to be together, sleeping in different bedrooms even worse. Me, being tired and exhausted didn’t help either.

I need more time but I have no way to get it. Vacation is not a solution once it’s something temporary, just a few days so the solution can be:

• I accept the fact I have to stay in that job
• I accept the bosses I have and all the junk work I have to do for them
• I accept that I can only spend 2 or 3 hours with my kids, most of it spent in the kitchen preparing dinner and cleaning up
• I accept the fact I can’t explore other ways of earning money because I have little time
• I accept the fact that I can never pick up my kids at school because I have to work
• I accept the fact I can’t help my son with homework because I have to work (he does them in daycare after school)
• I accept the complaints of my daughter saying she wants me to pick her up at school
• I accept the fact that I can’t pick up my kids earlier from daycare because I’m at work

so much things to accept but for me they are unacceptable.

For my own health I have to keep going and try to live as I can. I see the years go by, my kids are growing and I’m not able to follow them closely as I would like to. I know I’m not alone but some people just don’t care, but I do and I suffer with this.

On Saturday I was feeling really better and I did some activities with the kids. In the morning I cleaned up the house, we went to my parents house for the weekly visit and in the afternoon I went with the kids to the local park for roller skating and bicycle riding. After that we went to the library where we spent the rest of the afternoon. They enjoy being in the library among the books, games, movies, etc..

Sunday afternoon I went to ride bicycle with Dani but we spend most of the day at home.

Yesterday (Monday) I went to work with a positive spirit and I tried to do my work and some blogging (don’t tell the bosses).

This is just a phase I go through from time to time so…let’s keep going.

It’s 2:26 right now and I’m still blogging, why? Because only at night, when I’m supposed to be asleep, I have time to write.

…but time has been too short to update my blogs. I literally “crashed” physically last week and I wasn’t able to blog as I used to. I hope to get back on track tomorrow.